Session 6: Failure

Leader’s Notes:

In this session we’re focusing on the theme of Failure. Failure is a subject that can make many of us uncomfortable. We often avoid discussing our own failures, never mind looking at those of others. In this session, David’s story provides us with a template to pause and observe failures in his life, and then turn toward our own.

Throughout this Encounter, the participant booklet is there for people to write down their thoughts and reflections. We encourage you to ask participants to use it again in this session.

In the Reflection Action there are three options – two fire-based, and another water-based. Please decide on an option and ensure you have all the supplies required on hand.

Remember the goal of this session isn’t to leave people right in the middle of their failure, but to see release and experience hope!

Welcome

Welcome to our gathering tonight.

Does anyone have reflections or new thoughts to share about our last session?

Note: watch your time. You may only have time for 2 answers

In this session, we are going to focus on the theme of Failure and see how David handled his own failures. We will then take some time to reflect on what we might consider failures in our own lives.

Breath Prayer

As we move into our time together, we are going to take a moment to release the day and centre ourselves in the Eternal through breath prayer.

As we breathe, I invite you to let go of your day. Release it. Feel your breath going into your lungs and out. We’re going to breathe together for one minute. If closing your eyes is helpful, you can do that now.

Take 30 seconds for just breathing and then start Yah-Weh breath prayer.

Note: If appropriate close with a prayer.

Go right into poem.

Poem

A Psalm about Self

Lord save me from myself 
my settled self, unsettle me 
bring to end of rope 
but only if you are at the end. 
My procrastinating self 
that can so easily find 
side roads that are more interesting 
even ones where errands can be run. 
Send me back to my comfort loving self 
uncomfort me 
pull the covers from me 
on cold night that I may wake. 
Starve my body that my soul may feast. 
My proud self. 
Give me peace to bend myself 
and keep me bent 
lest you should one day 
bend me to the breaking point. 
My righteous self, show me failures 
that lurks beneath my conscious thought 
motivating that pushes me to settling  
comfort pride and self rationalizing 
self that finds excuse for what I do 
and don’t. 
Save me from myself 
Save me so that self may die 
and save me from pride, 
that self is dead.

Joseph Bayly (20th Century).

Introduction

Failure can be minor or major; our lives can be impacted by minor mis-steps as well as catastrophic errors. We can be the cause of our own greatest problems, and we can deeply wound other people.

Our failures can have a devastating effect all round. The ancient Anglo-Saxon word sin was shouted out when an archer missed their target: “It’s a sin!” It means that it’s a miss… a failure to hit the mark. Children’s games and many sports show us how difficult it is to hit the target or the goal.

The scriptures say “all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of the Eternal.” We miss the target of our own humanity, the best of ourselves, made in the image of the divine. No one is innocent and all of us have failed in different ways. David, though anointed by Samuel, confirmed by Saul as his successor, a loyal friend to Jonathan, and a great and courageous king, was also a failure. He went against his conscience with devastating consequences, which he and others had to live with for the rest of their lives. Our own failures, errors of judgement, sins can lead to malformation of our character so that ‘missing the target’ becomes habitual. Sometimes we need a radical reawakening of our conscience, a turnaround (which is the meaning of the world ‘repentance’), a release, an experience of forgiveness and a new way forward.

Film Scene

Watch film clip 6.1 – Failure

Film Reflection

What about this scene stood out to you?

Is there a moment or word that you relate to?

Note: You may want to invite people to write down their answers. Don’t be afraid of silence or of people taking their time to respond.

Psalm & Psalm Microfilm

Today we’re going to reflect on Psalm 51. As I read the Psalm, allow yourself to hear and experience the words.

Read Psalm 51:10-12

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,

    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

11 Do not cast me from your presence

    or take your Holy Spirit from me.

12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation

    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Reflection

What emotions or awareness come up in you as you hear or read the Psalm?

Was there a word or idea that stood out to you?

Action Reflection Options

Option 1 – Fire Options

Note: In this section there are two fire options to choose from.

Is there a failure in your life you have yet to make peace with? One you struggle to release, or need the Eternal’s grace to cover? Write down your failures and mistakes on the papers provided, even your secret ones, being honest with yourself and allowing the sound of the Eternal to hold the truth about you in love.

When you’re ready, place the paper in the fire as an act of release or confession.

Crumple the paper into a small ball, place one at a time in a metal bowl or bucket and use a match/lighter to burn them.

Option 2 – Water Option

Note: this is the water option that will require using dissolving paper. See the Leader’s guide for link as to where to purchase.

When you’re ready place the paper in this bowl of water as an act of release or confession.

Note: Explain that the papers will dissolve completely in the water.

Closing Thought

When we experience true confession, often for the first time, our worst mistakes and sins lose the power of secrecy (for our damaging thoughts, habits and sins thrive in the darkness). When the light of divine love floods our lives, we can experience freedom and a much greater dependency on a source of power that is higher than ourselves.

From his youth, David followed a divine pathway. More and more, he came to rely on this spiritual strength. But on more than one occasion, he forgot to guard his desire and control his restless. We can so easily look on his failures in judgment, forgetting they did not preclude him from kingship nor from continuing to receive so much divine love and forgiveness. The truth is that our worst mistakes – the many ways in which we miss the mark of our divine destiny – can be turned into a new pathway. When we face our failures, when we confess our sins, there is always hope.

Closing Poem

One form of gentleness we should practice is towards ourselves. We should never get irritable with ourselves because of our imperfections.

It is reasonable to be displeased and sorry when we commit faults, but not fretful or spiteful to ourselves. We should regard our faults with calm, collected and firm displeasure.

We correct ourselves better by a quiet persevering repentance than by an irritated, hasty and passionate one. When your heart has fallen raise it gently, humbling yourself before God, acknowledging your fault, but not surprised at your fall.

St. Francis de Sales (1600).

Closing Prayer

Close in prayer, giving thanks for how the Eternal covers our failures.

Thank everyone for going into uncomfortable places together!