Leader’s Notes:
In this session we are discussing and reflecting on Family. For some participants this will be easy, and for others quite hard. Often, people we think we know well may be carrying family secrets or tragedies. To aid in conversation and reflection, remind people that they can expand who they consider family. Family may be our neighbour who we eat dinner with each week, our spiritual family, or a close friend. As the leader, it is important that you are sensitive to the information shared and cultivate a safe environment for people to be vulnerable.
Note: In this session you have two options for the film clip reflections, as well as options for the Psalm.
For the Reflection Action you will need to have colour pens and/or pencils available.
Reminder, that any words that are italicized are a not meant to be read out loud, and is a note or instruction just for you
Welcome
Welcome to our session.
Does anyone have reflections or thoughts to share about our previous time together watching the film?
Note: watch your time. You may only have time for 2 answers
In this session, we are going to focus on Family and see how David’s family can offer us insight into our own.
Breath Prayer
Just as we did at our last session, and will do at each subsequent one, we will take a moment to release the day and centre ourselves in the Eternal through breath prayer.
As we breathe, I invite you to let go of your day. Release it. Feel your breath going into your lungs and out. We’re going to breathe together for one minute. If closing your eyes is helpful, you can do that now.
Take 30 seconds for just breathing and then introduce In, Out breath prayer.
Note: If appropriate, close with a prayer.
Go right into poem.
Poem
Introduction
Families are complicated, beautiful, messy groups of people we find ourselves in. For better or worse, our experiences of family life have a lasting impact on our sense of safety, belonging, love, community, care and so much more.
Share a story about your own family.
As we move through our time together today, you may want to reflect on your own given/biological family, your chosen family, or spiritual family, or any combination of the three.
Film Scene
In our film clip we’re going to see David reflect on his family experiences. Afterwards we will discuss our observations.
Watch film clip 3.1 – Family
Film Reflection Options
Option 1 – More David focusedNote: You may want to invite people to write down their answers. Don’t be afraid of silence or of people taking their time to respond.
What did you notice about David’s family?
Does any of it make you see him differently?
How might being the youngest of eight sons have impacted David’s development? His sense of identity?
Who took care of him as the youngest child – both at home and out the fields?
Option 2 – More David’s family focused Note: You may want to invite people to write down their answers. Don’t be afraid of silence or of people taking their time to respond.
What did you notice about David’s family?
Does any of it make you see him differently?
How did he know he was loved? What might David’s relationships have been like with his mom and dad? What would you be curious about asking him if you met him?
Psalm & Psalm Microfilm
Option 1 – Watch the Psalm MicrofilmToday we’re going to watch Psalms Microfilm 139. As we view it allow yourself to observe and experience the words.
Reflection
Option 2 – Read the PsalmToday we’re going to reflect on Psalm 139. As I read the Psalm allow yourself to hear and experience the words.
Read Psalm 139
1 O Eternal One, You have explored my heart and know exactly who I am;
2 You even know the small details like when I take a seat and when I stand up again.
Even when I am far away, You know what I’m thinking.
3 You observe my wanderings and my sleeping, my waking and my dreaming,
and You know everything I do in more detail than even I know.
4 You know what I’m going to say long before I say it.
It is true, Eternal One, that You know everything and everyone.
5 You have surrounded me on every side, behind me and before me,
and You have placed Your hand gently on my shoulder.
6 It is the most amazing feeling to know how deeply You know me, inside and out;
the realization of it is so great that I cannot comprehend it.
7 Can I go anywhere apart from Your Spirit?
Is there anywhere I can go to escape Your watchful presence?
8 If I go up into heaven, You are there.
If I make my bed in the realm of the dead, You are there.
9 If I ride on the wings of morning,
if I make my home in the most isolated part of the ocean,
10 Even then You will be there to guide me;
Your right hand will embrace me, for You are always there.
11 Even if I am afraid and think to myself, “There is no doubt that the darkness will swallow me,
the light around me will soon be turned to night,”
12 You can see in the dark, for it is not dark to Your eyes.
For You the night is just as bright as the day.
Darkness and light are the same to Your eyes.
13 For You shaped me, inside and out.
You knitted me together in my mother’s womb long before I took my first breath.
14 I will offer You my grateful heart, for I am Your unique creation, filled with wonder and awe.
You have approached even the smallest details with excellence;
Your works are wonderful;
I carry this knowledge deep within my soul.
15 You see all things; nothing about me was hidden from You
As I took shape in secret,
carefully crafted in the heart of the earth before I was born from its womb.
16 You see all things;
You saw me growing, changing in my mother’s womb;
Every detail of my life was already written in Your book;
You established the length of my life before I ever tasted the sweetness of it.
17 Your thoughts and plans are treasures to me, O God! I cherish each and every one of them!
How grand in scope! How many in number!
18 If I could count each one of them, they would be more than all the grains of sand on earth. Their number is inconceivable!
Even when I wake up, I am still near to You.
19 I wish You would destroy all the wicked, O God.
So keep away from me, those who are thirsty for blood!
20 For they say such horrible things about You,
and those who are against You abuse Your good name.
21 Is it not true that I hate all who hate You, Eternal One?
Is it not true that I despise all who come against You?
22 Deep hatred boils within me toward them;
I am Your friend, and they are my enemies.
23 Explore me, O God, and know the real me. Dig deeply and discover who I am.
Put me to the test and watch how I handle the strain.
24 Examine me to see if there is an evil bone in me,
and guide me down Your path forever.
Reflection
Action Reflection
As we did last session, we’re going to do an active reflection.
Take a few moments to sketch out a rough family tree, going back three generations if possible. If reflecting on your biological family isn’t right for you, expand out to writing out members of your chosen family. This can be close friends and/or spiritual family members.
Using colours or symbols, note any patterns that exist. For example, strong relationships, tense relationships, addictions, deaths.
Reflect on your family tree notes:
Are there any similarities to David’s story?
What can you give thanks for in your family? What can you release? What are the hopes you have for your family and future generations? What are your hopes for yourself?
Closing Thought
In utero we begin to learn about what it means to be loved by our primary attachment figures.
Because no one is perfect, we often don’t make it past the first few years of life without an incident that leaves us wondering and troubled about the world and our place in it (even if we don’t realize it).
If there is a loving Eternal, then such a being is the perfect attachment figure. If motherhood and fatherhood are contained in the divine, and there is a nurturing, loving parental power at the heart of the universe, then even the deepest of our attachment wounding can be tended and healed. Of course, if you learned as a child that the Eternal was angry and distant rather than loving and present, this can be a slow, tender process.
I encourage you that if there wasn’t enough time to reflect on your family tree and what you can give thanks for or release, to do so throughout the week.
Closing Poem
Closing Prayer
Close with a prayer or blessing.
Thank everyone for sharing and being willing to go deep, even if they didn’t speak it out.